How guys see a biker babe... a love story.

Being a woman rider in today's world, who is searching for a mate, is hard.  I'm not afraid to admit it.  It is!  It's confusing- Do you act more like a lady, do you act more like a guy? Challenging- new experiences, situations, meeting new people with new things to overcome (more than likely telling the same story about how you got your bike or how long you've been riding it) daily.  Competitive, trying to prove yourself in some way shape or form, weather it is drinking, riding, cursing, jokes, new clothes, slang, whatever it is.. you have to step up that game around your peers, or at least you feel like you have to, to fit in or make friends, or potential lovers.  It can be dangerous and flat out crazy sometimes (I know you have ALL seen the catty nature us female types can all posses when confronted by another female- don't lie- you've seen the bachelor/kardashians/housewives...)

shit.. I found another fantasy...

 We females, as a sex, have fought for our rights for decades- and now that we have them (for the most part) I feel an obligation to uphold and live by the creed my progressive independent hippie fore-mothers set for us, the aspiring youth:  No man needed.  If there is one- he better take care of you, respect the real you and raise you up, so you have the desire and love to raise him up as well!  These standards instilled in me have made it pretty easy to be alone.  Not settling for second rate and realizing you are independent and can take care of yourself is second nature.  Being a loner is completely doable in this day and age-  Women can work their own jobs and make their own income, buy their own house and car, bike or dog-and if you really really want a baby, you can go buy a frozen donation and have offspring.. guys are really obsolete in today's world.  The only thing that makes it something to yearn for is companionship.  It is a scientific FACT, that humans will die without companionship. SERIOUSLY die. So, as unfortunate as it may seem, even the lone wolf woman needs a cuddle buddy sometimes. It's nice to have a companion that has the same values, views, taste in music, whatever is important to you.. BUT:

There is a huge problem with finding what you want, when everyone around you thinks you want something different. (Read that sentence again) 

Adding the stereotype of a biker babe into the mix just makes things harder, and as hard as you try to let the real YOU show- you get plugged into some completely misleading and nonrepresentational category.  My friends and I call this "THE FANTASY"

The FFFs and rabbit ears prove my point perfectly..

The independent and inspirational women in my life (including my mother along with my father) taught me that I don't need to depend on a man (unless that man is your father, in that case- accept his love support and help at any time it is offered) they also taught me how to get true intentions out of people. It works the same as my sales job- ask key questions in certain ways and you will get the information you are looking for.  What do you need to get out of your trade in? What kind of riding are you going to do? What do you look for in a sexual partner? Do you ever see yourself wearing bondage?  Just run of the mill kind of things, you know... and observing behaviors is second nature in us Cancer types.  If you notice a guy staring at his reflection, constantly on his cell phone, interrupting people.. these are all red fags.. I MEAN FLAGS.
In my experience, when a male sees a female on a Harley, or any bike for that matter, the combination of THREE impressions are known to happen. Number one: the 'shes a freak' fantasy.  Immediately they have you envisioned tied up by the hands and ankles to the rails of their california king getting whipped, spanked, and completely dominated by them. That one is my favorite and most common fantasy I get to dispel- I have a hunch my tattoos and get the fuck away from me attitude are mistaken for a sexual prowess that needs to be dominated, probably because some dudes are always thinking about sex- so, in their selfish nature- they project their fantasy of why you are so badass into their spank bank- and BOOM your fantasy has just been created.  It can be fun, if you're into that- but you won't find a life partner who respects you in this fantasy.  Just looking at a person and assuming they like to get their ass beat isn't normal.  If you are having these assumptions, you may have a mental illness- and should be inspected at your local head doctor ASAP.   I recognize this one most commonly by a mans comment "You look like you would enjoy something like that", or "you look like my type" Oh do I really? What TYPE is that??

 Another fantasy I've encountered is the "she can kick my ass" fantasy- which is usually a bad one and they get scared and intimidated and will not approach you at all.  Which in certain situations is best- unless you are trying to find Mr Right Friday night at the local sports bar and you feel like every guy is leering at you out of the corner of their eye making you feel like a diseased freak.  But there is always one guy who melds this fantasy with the freak fantasy, and now you are in his brain wearing a leather bustier holding a leather crop, when he approaches you wearing his favorite affliction t shirt, terribly cheap visible tattoos, and has whiskey on his breath to ask "sup?" Yikes.  So when I find myself in this position, I'm rolling my eyes and trying not to be a complete bitch- but how can't you.. seriously.

NO, I don't like to wear strap on's- GO AWAY

A complete three sixty of the "you're into beating/being beaten by dudes" is the "lesbian" fantasy.  This one speaks for itself- and somehow the Harley riding bit and the sense of a powerful woman causes weak minded men to automatically think "if she's not into me- she must be a lezbo".  MUST BE DUDE- its not your horrible hair, face, breath, voice, game at all.. no not at all... you're the epitome of the perfect male specimen, I just like vaginas in my face.  But thanks for asking!
Of course, these fantasies depend on the guy having them- and there may be MANY more.. so many more I don't want to even touch on- but these are about the range of thoughts that I have been lucky enough to endure.
 So how does a pretty, independent moto babe keep herself on the dating scene without falling victim to the fantasies? You can't.  They will always be there, as long as men have dicks- women will be automatically categorized by their appearance and hobbies.  And being in the "biker" category brings in some interesting blood.. BUT- you can spot them and avoid them and YES there are guys who don't project these fantasies on us.. Swear- they exist.

the perfect man- does he exist?

   

My best advice for any biker babe who is looking for love- be your true and best self always. At the grocery store, on a date, bike meets and poker runs, at work if the hot new intern is your type- you never know when 'the one' is going to show up, and  BEWARE of these fantasies- look through his bullshit screen and get to his intentions early and honestly- If they think you are any of these babe fantasies- it won't surprise them for you to come right out and ask! I asked.. A few times . (;